I came to Hyderabad on Nov 2008, SAP gave me the boot cos of the market downfall (I felt so confident that the industry masters were dumb enough to fuck with the economy).
Talking on the challenge of getting another job (since I had only one month to get married) and keeping my head high, I accepted a job offer with a company called Scorp.
From day one I wasn’t happy with Hyd. Hyd lacked the quality that other Indian cities had. I have been in Chennai, Bangalore and Bombay, well in reality all these cities can't be compared to cities like NY, Hong Kong etc they were bearable. Hyd through my eyes was like being in the up class slum area. But fate wanted me to experience this place.
I said to myself, let me try and give this place a chance (I was tired of shifting ever so often). I joined Scorp on Dec 1st, the people in my team are weird – they burped and farted and they didn’t even think it was disgusting. I was shocked, depressed and confused often asking myself what the fuck 1 was doing here.
For the first year I had no work. I really wanted to do something; I started exploring ways to make the process better. No one came in my way and nobody gave a shit. I was being ignored, in the end I got the message (they didn’t want any change, people were happy with the ways things were).
This place just got me down each day, but I did not focus on it cos I was going through the married phase. I had good days and bad days both at work and in life. I wanted to be able to provide a good life for me wife, that was my main focus. I had the confidence that I can be something and accomplish something in life.
Work for me was something that I could divert all my frustrations towards. I wanted to excel and when that option is not given I get uneasy. I tried, I din give into the internal politics and I never did. Recruitment is something I love to do, but this place started denting that opinion. I never bargained for pay, every time I went for an interview my question was what the nature of work would be.
I was always put down in life, by teachers, friends, peers etc. What made me this way , a recluse was the bastards in school the so called teachers. I was always considered a threat to the normal order of things. I was punished for wearing my trash jewelery; I was punished for not saying the school prayer. I was even punished for not singing the national anthem. People often ask me why I hate India, I have my reasons.
Roughly around 2 weeks back, I got to know that Scorp is gonna give me the boot. This time I panicked silently. Me and Jane were in Spar, she knew something was up – my chest felt tight. I did not want to freak her out but she is all I have (oh apart from Hyde). This year started of great, I came to know that I was gonna be a pop and trust me that’s a real good feeling.
So why I am freaking out now? I don want to be a loser to my kid, I don want to sell my car. I was proud cos I was making the payments and it was not a gift (well thanks to my MIL for the down payment) – but you get the picture. I have fears that things would slip away from me.
Every night I am on my knees, pleading to the father above that something works out by this month end. I won’t blame GOD if he takes his time, cos when things went well in my life I didn’t even care to acknowledge him. I just hope I have the strength to rise from this regardless of what happens. If I have to sell the car then so be it (I might scream, shout etc), but I know for a fact that I wont let it be the last of me. I will arise like the phoenix!!!
